Aren't I cute
Archive - February, 2008
Consequences
To spank or not to spank? We spank and though that isn’t socially accepted in today’s world, it is Biblical. However, we don’t spank in public…..which leads me to consequences. I noticed that when disciplining Ella at home, the threat of a spanking is often just as good as the real thing. However, we needed a “code” word for spanking when out in public, so I introduced her to the word consequences. For instance, “Ella come here, or I am going to spank you and that means consequences.” So now when out in public, all I have to do is say, “Ella, come here, or there will be consequences.” And she knows what that means.
Today at home, Ella proceeded to place one of her toddler-sized chairs on the couch beside me, so that she could sit on the chair- and on the couch- all at the same time. I told her to put the chair down, it doesn’t go on the couch, it goes on the floor. She quickly went into melt-down mode and started pulling the chair off the couch WITHOUT mommy’s help in a tirade and, wouldn’t you know it, the chair somewhat fell on her and she began to cry (please don’t worry- she wasn’t really hurt- more mad than anything). I ignored the fit, as I usually do, and she looked at me and said,
“Mommy, I have consequences.”
“What??????!???!??!!!!?” I gasped.
“I have consequences.”
“That’s right, Ella. You got hurt and that was your consequences for putting the chair on the couch.”
And she knew exactly what that meant. (!!!!)
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If you've been at our house at bedtime any night within the last 10 years, you would know that Seth HATES going to bed. And trust me- in 10 years, we have tried it all. We have made lists, visual schedules, sticker charts, rewards, phone calls from special people, videos from special people, role playing, modeling and force. I mean it. We have done it.
To say that bedtime is usually stressful at our house is an understatement, and the fact that Seth is 12.5 years old and hasn't yet thrown in the towel and decided to go with the flow is proof at how stubborn- I mean determined- that extra chromosome really is! (Just kidding...kind of...)
Last night was no exception. He fussed and barked at me, and I barked back. He threw toys at me and said unkind things and I started taking away privileges. It finally ended in him losing his most prized possessions- his pink and green "punkeys" (monkeys) and also losing the opportunity for dad to come lay in bed with him and read him to sleep (this is the ULTIMATE loss). It was brush teeth, lights out, good night for him and a big deep breath in silence for me downstairs.
This morning, I expected him to remember and be grumpy about things. Sure enough, he started off that way. However, he got in the groove as we talked about going back to school and seeing his friends and oh how they have missed him, won't it be fun to sit together at lunch?
As he finished his morning routine of getting ready, and I was busy cleaning up the kitchen from hours of serving breakfasts and making lunches, he walked over to me, grabbed my hand, and said, "Mom, I need to talk to you special. Sit down. I want to talk to you."
<INSERT CHRISTMAS MIRACLE>
"Mom," he said, "I am really really sorry I have bad attitude at bed. I am so sorry mom. Hurts my heart. Ok mom?"
<CUE THE TEARS IN MOM'S EYES>
I told him I forgave him and it hurt my heart too. I told him how proud I was of him and how much I know he can do it, just like all the other big boys his age.
His sweet little hand brushed my cheek and he said, "Mom, you deserve a chocolate. You are....a SHINING STAR!" and proceeded to hug and squeeze and kiss my cheek over and over. He then asked if he could have his punkeys back, and of course, I obliged. His world was right again, and my heart was EXTREMELY encouraged!
Seth took responsibility for his attitude and actions without being prompted by me or his dad or siblings. He wanted to make things right again, and his whole demeanor shifted once that was off his chest. For Joel and I, this is a HUGE step in the right directions...something we have been praying about for, well, 10 years. I don't expect him to be perfect again tonight, and I don't expect things to be fixed every night from here on...but we are making baby steps. Well, maybe this was more like an almost-teenager-step today. Either way, I am spending time today reflecting on the power of forgiveness and thanking God for this precious gift!
"Be kind to one another, tender hearted and forgiving each other, just as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:32
1 month ago
Huge! What an encouragement. James is 10, and I pray for these things in him. He will show contrition, but mostly because he doesn’t like to make mom mad, not because he knows he did the wrong thing (I think...hard to know sometimes with limited speech). I pray for his heart always.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart. What a sweet blessing. 😀
What a wonderful boy with such a kind heart. ❤️
Ella’s freshman team highlights. A lot of fun especially for the year 2020.
2 months ago
Seth is rocking out his braces and we have had a very successful first three months! I would have never thought he could wear braces considering it took YEARS to get him comfy just sitting in a dental chair, but as I’ve always been told, “keep the bar high and he will exceed it!”
So proud of you, Seth! You are one handsome dude! 😁
5 months ago
Awesome... Just look at that smile!!!
Emerson can not wait to see his sweet face next week!!!
Can’t imagine that smile even getting better!!!
Whoa, looking good handsome!
Great Seth!!
Love you Seth!! You are amazing!!😘
Way to go Seth. You are handsome!! Joyce
Awesome! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Way to go!!!
way to go yo got this
Way to go Seth!!!!