Get frustrated or make it a teaching moment

If you've been at our house at bedtime any night within the last 10 years, you would know that Seth HATES going to bed. And trust me- in 10 years, we have tried it all. We have made lists, visual schedules, sticker charts, rewards, phone calls from special people, videos from special people, role playing, modeling and force. I mean it. We have done it.

To say that bedtime is usually stressful at our house is an understatement, and the fact that Seth is 12.5 years old and hasn't yet thrown in the towel and decided to go with the flow is proof at how stubborn- I mean determined- that extra chromosome really is! (Just kidding...kind of...)

Last night was no exception. He fussed and barked at me, and I barked back. He threw toys at me and said unkind things and I started taking away privileges. It finally ended in him losing his most prized possessions- his pink and green "punkeys" (monkeys) and also losing the opportunity for dad to come lay in bed with him and read him to sleep (this is the ULTIMATE loss). It was brush teeth, lights out, good night for him and a big deep breath in silence for me downstairs.

This morning, I expected him to remember and be grumpy about things. Sure enough, he started off that way. However, he got in the groove as we talked about going back to school and seeing his friends and oh how they have missed him, won't it be fun to sit together at lunch?

As he finished his morning routine of getting ready, and I was busy cleaning up the kitchen from hours of serving breakfasts and making lunches, he walked over to me, grabbed my hand, and said, "Mom, I need to talk to you special. Sit down. I want to talk to you."

<INSERT CHRISTMAS MIRACLE>

"Mom," he said, "I am really really sorry I have bad attitude at bed. I am so sorry mom. Hurts my heart. Ok mom?"

<CUE THE TEARS IN MOM'S EYES>

I told him I forgave him and it hurt my heart too. I told him how proud I was of him and how much I know he can do it, just like all the other big boys his age.

His sweet little hand brushed my cheek and he said, "Mom, you deserve a chocolate. You are....a SHINING STAR!" and proceeded to hug and squeeze and kiss my cheek over and over. He then asked if he could have his punkeys back, and of course, I obliged. His world was right again, and my heart was EXTREMELY encouraged!

Seth took responsibility for his attitude and actions without being prompted by me or his dad or siblings. He wanted to make things right again, and his whole demeanor shifted once that was off his chest. For Joel and I, this is a HUGE step in the right directions...something we have been praying about for, well, 10 years. I don't expect him to be perfect again tonight, and I don't expect things to be fixed every night from here on...but we are making baby steps. Well, maybe this was more like an almost-teenager-step today. Either way, I am spending time today reflecting on the power of forgiveness and thanking God for this precious gift!

"Be kind to one another, tender hearted and forgiving each other, just as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:32 ... See MoreSee Less

2 months ago

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2 months ago

Seth is rocking out his braces and we have had a very successful first three months! I would have never thought he could wear braces considering it took YEARS to get him comfy just sitting in a dental chair, but as I’ve always been told, “keep the bar high and he will exceed it!”

So proud of you, Seth! You are one handsome dude! 😁 ... See MoreSee Less

5 months ago